When it comes to your prostate cancer decision-don’t be angry and try to be “big”

if i catch you cheating again it will be your funeral and my trial...sonny boy wilson

 Will Rogers  

I have a serpiginous  route to the Chattahoochee river from my home. I love it… my wife hates it and she hates being the passenger when I am driving on small ” back roads.”   

My daughter told me in the car one time when we taking that the route that my incessant talking and my driving made her nauseated… whatever.   

The picture above is a church  on my route to the river and  has an interesting and thought-provoking  saying each week. They put them  up on the little  marquee each week.  I take a picture of the new one each week. They are always good  and always make  me think. I pull over on the side of road, take a picture and then use it in my sunday school class as a lead in to a lesson for that week that I am teaching.   

So…anger controls you… it is very much like forgiveness and grudges… if you don’t forgive you carry that weight around with you daily. You have to forgive others to  free yourself from the  incumbrances that grudges and not forgiving  promote .  I am not good at it…yet. I am a work in progress in that regard, but I can recognize it when I see it in others ( isn’t that a funny trait we all have).  

About anger…I feel a lot of anger out there among the prostate cancer world (Ablin’s NYT letter) about several things:   

  • drug companies are pushing products on the public that they don’t need
  • the American Cancer Society’s stance on screening has provoked emotion and yes anger
  • the PSA is something that makes money for drug companies and urologists
  • men are being treated for prostate cancer and it is only “profit” motivated
  • it is better to not treat everyone at the risk of only 3% percent dying
  • the cost of prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment
  • blaming the caregiver for complications inherent to the treatment of the disease…whether it be surgery or radiation
  • using the retrospective scope to blame the medical field or yourself  for whatever you have been through with prostate cancer
  • anger for having been treated at all, for have had a PSA obtained, not having been pushed to do nothing
  • “they didn’t tell me this” mentality
  • Lorenzo Q. Squarf
  • I could go on and on.

We are all adults. We all can consult our doctors and friends and the internet. As I have said before when I lost money because of a friend recommending something that turned out bad and they apologized to me.  I say to them and i say to you…” I am a big boy, it’s a decision I made and I will deal with it.”  Remember that no doctor can make you do anything.   

When I had my prostate removed I did not know the surgeon, I did not know that I’d be cured, I did not know whether I would  have the complications peculiar to a prostatectomy( which  I had by the way…three months of incontinence). We are all big boys. Your doctor tells you your PSA is high. You do your research and decide if you want to take it to the next level. You are a big boy….make a judgement specific to you and go with it; to blame others or be angry about the ” medical establishment”  I feel is being disingenuous and certainly not fruitful.   

Will Rogers (not Roy Rogers) was asked one time why was it he’d be invited to presidential inaugurations only to make fun of the president that invited him. He said of presidents, “They are big people.”  

My advice to you…..be “big” throughout this very troubling and emotional time after having been told that your PSA is elevated or that your prostate biopsy is positive… but of course do your due diligence in advance and thoroughly… before your “Decision.”


One Reply to “When it comes to your prostate cancer decision-don’t be angry and try to be “big””

  1. This is from Colin Peters my husband.
    “Problems are there to be solved and only you can find and choose the solutions. Your choice is final so live with it.”


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