Best vaectomy joke of all time…period.


From Urological Wit and Wisdom

Chapter 56

If I Am Going to Be Impotent Then I Am Going to Look Impotent


Okay, there is a classic urology joke that every urologist should have in his armamentarium and never fails to get a good laugh.

A man walks into a vasectomy clinic for his vasectomy all dressed up to the hilt. He has on a tuxedo, top hat and has a walking stick laden with diamonds. He was quite the dandy.

He begins the sign in process with the check-in nurse. She notices his unusual attire.

“Sir, why are you so dressed up for a vasectomy,” she says.

He replies, “If I am going to be impotent I want to look impotent.”


Rule: Impotency relates to the inability of having an erection. Libido relates to sex drive and is dependent on testosterone which is produced by the testicles and released into the bloodstream. Fertility is having the presence of sperm in the ejaculate. A vasectomy causes sterility and does not affect testosterone. To neuter one would be cutting off the testicles which do affect testosterone. Once a male goes through puberty and the voice deepens, doing an orchiectomy (or vasectomy for that matter) will not make his voice high, i.e. talk like a girl. Most of the ejaculate is produced by the prostate and not the testicles. An orgasm is caused by the violent contraction of the external sphincter.  You could explain all this to the patient so that he can defend himself from his coworkers when they find out he is having a vasectomy…or you could just tell him the joke and move on. Despite all of this and that the punch line has no medical basis and works only because of the male’s lack of understanding of their genitourinary system, the joke is still universally funny and should be employed on a regular basis.

“Eunuchs do not take the gout, nor become bald.”-Hippocrates

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