From “101 Aphorisms, adages, and illustrations for the urological resident and nascent physician.”
The Only Thing E.N.T.
Has over Urology is Cocaine
One day in the urology clinic the intern I have previously mentioned in this book (the one that told the BS-ing older patient that he should treat his impotence by abstaining from sex for six months-that guy), was complaining of a head cold.
“I can’t breathe. This is miserable.”
I had a friend who was the chief resident on ENT and I arranged for the intern to go to their clinic. Just as an aside, this chief resident knew my older brother from twenty years ago in Columbus, Ga. He and my brother went to St. Anne-Pacelli Catholic School there. I went there until third grade. I still remember the nuns.
So the intern goes and about hour later comes back a changed person. I mean his was showing us how well he could breathe by taking long and exaggerated breaths, and moving around excitedly and “ready to get to work.”
“What in the hell did they do to you?” I asked him.
With a big smile and after another demonstrative deep breathe he says, “Cocaine my friend, cocaine.”
The ENT boys had put cocaine soaked pledgets in his nose and let it sit for a while and the stuff must have gone systemic.
“Man that was something else. Now I know why people use this stuff. I feel great!”
I had a medical school friend who was telling me about snorting cocaine and he said he’d do it before going to parties.
He says, “I’d do the coke and then go into a room full of people and I felt like King Bad. I loved it.”
Rule: If we could just invent a “cocaine soaked urethral pledget” for the penis. No that won’t work, cocaine is a vasoconstrictor. Never mind.